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The Ancient Kirkgate-Curse …

Every Halloween, inside the hallowed grounds of Greenside Cemetery, prior to the churchyard bell tolling 12:00pm, disembodied spirits rise from their graves preparing for the witching hour when they will possess the living. This, being their only gateway to a meaningful afterlife.

And so, to our tale … Smugglers & Black-Damp


THE PLAY

The piece, a one-act play, is a contemporary revelation of the history of Alloa through mediums and spirits from Alloa's Kirkgate. It takes place during a Spook-Spotters Investigation on Halloween night in the Greenside cemetery.

 

CAST

Scene 1) in which Philemon Blair enters, briefly chatting to some of the spirits.
(4 actors involved during this scene.)

Philemon Blair: Grave-watcher spirit. Dead 200 years. Always re-appears at Halloween at the time the spirits try to possess the living.

Earl of Mar: Earl spirit. Embodies all the Earls of Mar. Proud of his achievements during lifetime. Disappointed on his lot in the graveyard.

Coalminer's Wife: Coalminer's Wife spirit. Life spent working in the mines. Bitter that little is understood of the realities of life in a miner's family.

Robert Henderson (Sailor): Able-Seaman's spirit. Young. Unlike the coalminer's wife he's not bitter about the life at sea but is very aware his lot was tough.


SMUGGLERS AND BLACK-DAMP

THE SET IS - FROM THE AUDIENCE VIEWPOINT - STAGE SPLIT INTO TWO AREAS. STAGE RIGHT HAS 4 GRAVES (POSSIBLY CARDBOARD BOXES PAINTED BLACK LIKE HEADSTONES). STAGE LEFT HAS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE USED AS TABLES AND CHAIRS (POSSIBLY REPRESENTING TREE STUMPS OR A TOMB'S SLAB LIKE A TABLE?) THE STAGE IS, FOR MOST OF THE TIME IN SHADOW WITH ACTORS LIT BY SPOTS?


Scene 1 (in which Philemon Blair enters, briefly chatting to some of the spirits)

PLAY BEGINS WITH PHILEMON ENTERING WITH A BROOM, SWEEPING THE AREA AROUND THE GRAVES. OCCASIONALLY STOPPING TO HAVE A DRINK FROM A BOTTLE HIDDEN UNDER HIS CLOAK. (This bottle becomes important at the play's end when it is discovered in a pupil's pocket - it is dated 1814). AFTER A SHORT TIME HE RESTS, LEANING HIS HANDS ON THE BROOM. HE TALKS TO THE AUDIENCE. PHILEMON IS THE ONLY SPIRIT THAT CAN TALK TO THE AUDIENCE.

PHILEMON
Autumn - dead leaves covering dead bodies, and me, a dead grave-watcher left to tidy up. Must be near on 200 year I've been dead … at least. Anyway, what must you be thinking - me muttering away? That's the way this job gets you, you become a professional mutterer. Not much company here you understand? Oh where are my manners? let me introduce myself, Philemon Blair, gravewatcher for Greenside Cemetery. At your service … in a manner of speaking, well I'm a spirit now but one day I was flesh and bone just like you … a long time ago.

PHILEMON LOOKS ABOUT HIM, TAKES ANOTHER SWIG FROM HIS BOTTLE.

PHILEMON
You might be thinking, 'At least it keeps him busy,' but, don't you think I'm going to be busy enough considering what night it is tonight. Oh, I know it's quiet now, but you just wait, soon enough … they'll start.

PHILEMON RESUMES HIS SWEEPING THEN STOPS AS IF THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING. HE TURNS TO THE AUDIENCE ONCE MORE.

PHILEMON
See, you probably think Halloween's when the bairns dress up and do a turn for sweeties, dook for apples and the like. Maybe that's what it's like for you. Nice and cosy, but not for me. For me, Halloween's when the dead complain. And boy, can they complain. See it looks quiet here, empty, but in reality it's full … full of Alloa's history and some of the people who made the history.

PHILEMON SWEEPS SOME MORE AND HAS A SWIG FROM HIS BOTTLE.

PHILEMON
There's brick-makers, potters, brewers, mill-workers, miners, sailors, coopers, surgeons, merchants.

(PHILEMON POINTS TO A HEADSTONE ON A GRAVE)

You see, you can tell what the people did by the symbols on their gravestones. For example, the mason would have a mallet, the weaver would have a loom and shuttle, the farmer would have a plough and so on, but as well as trades and the like there are families also. Mothers, fathers and bairns … you'll know where the bairns are buried by the headstones with the hourglasses on their sides … the sands of time … sifting to the heavens all too soon.

GETTING UPSET, PHILEMON RESUMES HIS SWEEPING, WIPING HIS EYES.

PHILEMON
It'd bring a tear to a glass eye so it would. Another thing, there's legend on one of the headstones that says …

Where I am now, so ye shall be …
Prepare for death, and follow me.

… Anyone sitting smugly in the audience would do well to think about that for a bit. Life's, for living, by the living, let me tell you! Someone once spray-painted on the headstone …

To follow you, I'm not content …
I do not know which way you went!

Everyone's a joker these days, eh?

PHILEMON
Don't get me wrong, any other night and I'd be glad of the company. In fact … I wonder if we've got enough time? You see, everyone who comes to The Greenside Cemetery looks at the headstones … finds out who's buried … but they never know who watched over them when the grave-robbers were on the prowl. That's where I come in, or rather, where I came in. And they never really know the history behind the names on the gravestones, never really get to find out their story.

SWEEPS SOME MORE.

PHILEMON
Oh, if we had more time it'd be easy enough for me to tell you of Alloa's early days. Tell you about … the barbers for example. They sometimes doubled as surgeons. On their gantry you would see the combs, scissors, the bleeding bowls and the open razors. Aye that's right, they performed certain operations, that's why the barber's pole has red and white stripes - red for the blood and white for the bandages …
(PHILEMON KIDS ON HE'S A CUSTOMER IN THE BARBERS) A short back and sides and amputate my leg please, oh and hurry up, I've got to run and catch a bus!

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